Doing my duty... Ha! I said doodie...

Thoughts on the Feminist movement

Now, I really don't want to pretend like I know a lot about feminism. I am, however, a woman who wants to succeed in my professional life and who watches other women who want to succeed in their professional lives as well.

WTUL, the local college radio station I listen to, has recorded speeches every Friday morning from 8 to 8:30. The speakers are usually detailing the unfair world's cruelties towards women or some other minority. The speeches are very interesting, and give me a different perspective on some issues.

Last week's speaker talked about how women in every society in every culture since written history have never had a level playing field with men. She talked about how in modern times, even though we have affirmative action, men are still more likely to rise to the top and choose other men to rise with them.

I recognize there are some double standards when it comes to expectations of women's behavior. Socially, women are looked down upon for being cutthroat or aggressive. Women have a harder time negotiating higher salaries and larger raises.

However, I think it's unfair to ignore the God-given ability, instinct, desire, or whatever of child-birth to women. Unfortunately, women have to take serious time off in order to have children, and in many cases choose to be stay-at-home-moms. Because we bear the responsibility of having children, sometimes our careers lose their importance. It seems that the playing field would be level if men had to face the same choices.

I fall where many women fall: torn between the desire for a successful career and the desire for a great family. At this point in my life, career is more important. I don't want children because I recognize that I will have to cast aside my aspirations for them.

Many women might make the argument that you can pursue your career goals while raising a family, but I don't know if I completely agree. Children seem to thrive on the attention of their parents. I want to be able to give them the proper amount of care and correction because that will be my responsibility as a parent. Looking back, I am so thankful that my mom was around to help me experience different things, help me with my homework, attend my events, and mediate the arguments in my relationships. I want to be a consistent presence in my children's lives. I don't believe there is any shame in wanting to stay home with your children.

I am grateful to the feminist movement because it has created many more opportunities for women. However, the extremists seem to believe that importance of equality transcends the natural desire and consequences that come with child birth.

What not to wear

Matt was gone this past weekend, so that meant I had full control over the remote. We usually have similar tastes in T.V. shows, but there's one show that he really won't watch with me: What Not to Wear on TLC.

I used to watch this show a lot when it was new. It helped me understand some basics of putting outfits together, styling my hair, and doing my makeup. But, as I watched it after a long hiatus, some other things struck me about the actual people who were on the show.

These women have "fashion problems" because of some disillusionment caused by insecurity. They are either desperately clinging to their younger years, have a terrible self-image, or feel some sort of animosity towards fashion because they see it as "the man." It's very interesting to watch these problems surface. Clinton and Stacy behave more than just style consultants; they have to address these insecurities and essentially prove to the women that they are better than their insecurities make them feel.

I understand these insecurities. We all have to face them. Our superficial society tells us so many lies and gives us so many unattainable standards. It's no wonder why women suffer from terrible self-images.

I'm thankful that my parents were always very supportive. I definitely feel down on myself some days, but overall, I'm pretty content. I was never one to feel that I had to conform to a particular way of looking, so I guess I've never been really depressed about my attractiveness. I have a sense of self-worth because God loves me and created me (most importantly!) and I have great people around me.

Maybe this is sad, but I'm still recovering from my adolescent indifference to style. Regardless, I'm happy that I'm not shackled by an obsession to look a certain way. Certainly I want to look like I care about myself and that I'm a professional, but I'm not going to kill myself in a gym or starve myself to get to 100 pounds. Maybe one day I'll find a good style for my frizzy hair. I doubt I'll ever have a perfectly flat stomach, but I never show enough skin for anyone to notice anyway.

Honestly, I know that people judge you based on the way you present yourself. A big part of that is your style. I want to keep myself updated (I swear never to be a frumpy, obese mother who wears sweats to the grocery store). But, overall, I don't get any sense of fulfillment when I start consuming myself with how I look. I feel confident because I know I'm not ugly and because God is with me in whatever I do. I'm also thankful that I have great friends who encourage me by not comparing themselves to me or anyone else and love me because who I am and what I represent.