I went to a women's retreat with my church a couple of weeks ago. I have never experienced anything quite like it... we prayed a scripted prayer to cast out evil spirits that might keep us rooted in sin. The theological issues I had with it aside, it was a good experience overall. I had to look inside myself to see what kind of issues that I really need to resolve.
But, the thing that stuck out to me the most was the "blessing ceremony" we had at the end. We were put with "prayer partners" for the exorcising exercises, so at the end, we prayed blessings over each other. The leaders gave the example of how parents yell curses at their children by telling them they aren't good enough, or they won't amount to anything. Many of the women nodded their heads to show their personal experience with these curses. I couldn't, though.
It made me think about how great my parents are. I could not think of a single time when they ever said anything negative over me. Certainly I messed up and disappointed them, but they always believed that I was capable of doing better. I started thinking about how their encouragement has inspired me to keep pursuing my goals.
The blessing ceremony also made me realize that I don't bless the people around me nearly enough. I always fear that people will think I'm being fake, or that I'm strange. That's not a good excuse, though.
Anyway, Matt's graduation ceremony is this weekend. We're going to have tons of family--I'm really looking forward to it! I'm so thankful we've gotten through this semester. Matt's starting the PhD program in fall, and I'm almost finished with coursework for my program. We've also been married for almost a year! Wow, life sure does go by quickly!!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Adolescents
Last night, I was flipping through TV stations and I stopped on Oprah. A counselor was talking an adolescent couple about their decision about whether or not to have sex. This fascinated me. They held hands and talked about how they loved each other. The counselor described the girl's feelings as very strong and how the girl probably thought the two would be in love forever. The counselor talked about the questions the girl would have about the relationship and her body after her first time having sex. Then the counselor then described the boy's feelings of long term being maybe six months to a year. The counselor asked would there be regrets if the relationships didn't last forever like the girl thinks it will? The adolescents were also asked if they knew about safe sex practices like how to use a condom correctly. They unconfidently said they did know how to use a condom. Before the commercial break, the counselor announced that teaching "abstinence only" did not work.
Wow. These poor children have raging hormones and out of control emotions. I felt very sorry for the little girl. She wants to keep her boyfriend because he makes her feel beautiful and important and she feels such a strong feeling of infatuation for him, but I'm sure she is scared of having sex!
I agree that "abstinence only" does not work. It doesn't work if there's no reason to be abstinent other than avoiding STDs and pregnancy. Truly, the only thing that made me very adamant about not having sex was my commitment to God. Furthermore, the two people involved in the relationship both need to be committed to God and abstinence.
Adolescent girls are surrounded by social pressure to have sex. They are deceived by romance movies, TV, magazines, music, and their own peers. I am sad that they are not told about the emotional and spiritual side of sex. The church, especially in my days in the youth group, never talked about the ramifications of sex. I sure didn't want to talk about it with my parents either.
It's interesting to hear people talk about their experience with sex. One of the people I work for said that after she was married, she understood why it would have been better to wait. I also hear Christians talk about how they are absolutely petrified of having sex. What a shame on all sides!
Basically, sex is a wonderful thing. However, it absolutely best enjoyed with someone who has proved his or her love through a life-long commitment. Sex bonds you to your partner in so many ways. It strengthens the commitment and is very satisfying because I have no fear of my partner taking advantage of me.
Wow. These poor children have raging hormones and out of control emotions. I felt very sorry for the little girl. She wants to keep her boyfriend because he makes her feel beautiful and important and she feels such a strong feeling of infatuation for him, but I'm sure she is scared of having sex!
I agree that "abstinence only" does not work. It doesn't work if there's no reason to be abstinent other than avoiding STDs and pregnancy. Truly, the only thing that made me very adamant about not having sex was my commitment to God. Furthermore, the two people involved in the relationship both need to be committed to God and abstinence.
Adolescent girls are surrounded by social pressure to have sex. They are deceived by romance movies, TV, magazines, music, and their own peers. I am sad that they are not told about the emotional and spiritual side of sex. The church, especially in my days in the youth group, never talked about the ramifications of sex. I sure didn't want to talk about it with my parents either.
It's interesting to hear people talk about their experience with sex. One of the people I work for said that after she was married, she understood why it would have been better to wait. I also hear Christians talk about how they are absolutely petrified of having sex. What a shame on all sides!
Basically, sex is a wonderful thing. However, it absolutely best enjoyed with someone who has proved his or her love through a life-long commitment. Sex bonds you to your partner in so many ways. It strengthens the commitment and is very satisfying because I have no fear of my partner taking advantage of me.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Coffee Warmer
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Thoughts on the Feminist movement
Now, I really don't want to pretend like I know a lot about feminism. I am, however, a woman who wants to succeed in my professional life and who watches other women who want to succeed in their professional lives as well.
WTUL, the local college radio station I listen to, has recorded speeches every Friday morning from 8 to 8:30. The speakers are usually detailing the unfair world's cruelties towards women or some other minority. The speeches are very interesting, and give me a different perspective on some issues.
Last week's speaker talked about how women in every society in every culture since written history have never had a level playing field with men. She talked about how in modern times, even though we have affirmative action, men are still more likely to rise to the top and choose other men to rise with them.
I recognize there are some double standards when it comes to expectations of women's behavior. Socially, women are looked down upon for being cutthroat or aggressive. Women have a harder time negotiating higher salaries and larger raises.
However, I think it's unfair to ignore the God-given ability, instinct, desire, or whatever of child-birth to women. Unfortunately, women have to take serious time off in order to have children, and in many cases choose to be stay-at-home-moms. Because we bear the responsibility of having children, sometimes our careers lose their importance. It seems that the playing field would be level if men had to face the same choices.
I fall where many women fall: torn between the desire for a successful career and the desire for a great family. At this point in my life, career is more important. I don't want children because I recognize that I will have to cast aside my aspirations for them.
Many women might make the argument that you can pursue your career goals while raising a family, but I don't know if I completely agree. Children seem to thrive on the attention of their parents. I want to be able to give them the proper amount of care and correction because that will be my responsibility as a parent. Looking back, I am so thankful that my mom was around to help me experience different things, help me with my homework, attend my events, and mediate the arguments in my relationships. I want to be a consistent presence in my children's lives. I don't believe there is any shame in wanting to stay home with your children.
I am grateful to the feminist movement because it has created many more opportunities for women. However, the extremists seem to believe that importance of equality transcends the natural desire and consequences that come with child birth.
WTUL, the local college radio station I listen to, has recorded speeches every Friday morning from 8 to 8:30. The speakers are usually detailing the unfair world's cruelties towards women or some other minority. The speeches are very interesting, and give me a different perspective on some issues.
Last week's speaker talked about how women in every society in every culture since written history have never had a level playing field with men. She talked about how in modern times, even though we have affirmative action, men are still more likely to rise to the top and choose other men to rise with them.
I recognize there are some double standards when it comes to expectations of women's behavior. Socially, women are looked down upon for being cutthroat or aggressive. Women have a harder time negotiating higher salaries and larger raises.
However, I think it's unfair to ignore the God-given ability, instinct, desire, or whatever of child-birth to women. Unfortunately, women have to take serious time off in order to have children, and in many cases choose to be stay-at-home-moms. Because we bear the responsibility of having children, sometimes our careers lose their importance. It seems that the playing field would be level if men had to face the same choices.
I fall where many women fall: torn between the desire for a successful career and the desire for a great family. At this point in my life, career is more important. I don't want children because I recognize that I will have to cast aside my aspirations for them.
Many women might make the argument that you can pursue your career goals while raising a family, but I don't know if I completely agree. Children seem to thrive on the attention of their parents. I want to be able to give them the proper amount of care and correction because that will be my responsibility as a parent. Looking back, I am so thankful that my mom was around to help me experience different things, help me with my homework, attend my events, and mediate the arguments in my relationships. I want to be a consistent presence in my children's lives. I don't believe there is any shame in wanting to stay home with your children.
I am grateful to the feminist movement because it has created many more opportunities for women. However, the extremists seem to believe that importance of equality transcends the natural desire and consequences that come with child birth.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
What not to wear
Matt was gone this past weekend, so that meant I had full control over the remote. We usually have similar tastes in T.V. shows, but there's one show that he really won't watch with me: What Not to Wear on TLC.
I used to watch this show a lot when it was new. It helped me understand some basics of putting outfits together, styling my hair, and doing my makeup. But, as I watched it after a long hiatus, some other things struck me about the actual people who were on the show.
These women have "fashion problems" because of some disillusionment caused by insecurity. They are either desperately clinging to their younger years, have a terrible self-image, or feel some sort of animosity towards fashion because they see it as "the man." It's very interesting to watch these problems surface. Clinton and Stacy behave more than just style consultants; they have to address these insecurities and essentially prove to the women that they are better than their insecurities make them feel.
I understand these insecurities. We all have to face them. Our superficial society tells us so many lies and gives us so many unattainable standards. It's no wonder why women suffer from terrible self-images.
I'm thankful that my parents were always very supportive. I definitely feel down on myself some days, but overall, I'm pretty content. I was never one to feel that I had to conform to a particular way of looking, so I guess I've never been really depressed about my attractiveness. I have a sense of self-worth because God loves me and created me (most importantly!) and I have great people around me.
Maybe this is sad, but I'm still recovering from my adolescent indifference to style. Regardless, I'm happy that I'm not shackled by an obsession to look a certain way. Certainly I want to look like I care about myself and that I'm a professional, but I'm not going to kill myself in a gym or starve myself to get to 100 pounds. Maybe one day I'll find a good style for my frizzy hair. I doubt I'll ever have a perfectly flat stomach, but I never show enough skin for anyone to notice anyway.
Honestly, I know that people judge you based on the way you present yourself. A big part of that is your style. I want to keep myself updated (I swear never to be a frumpy, obese mother who wears sweats to the grocery store). But, overall, I don't get any sense of fulfillment when I start consuming myself with how I look. I feel confident because I know I'm not ugly and because God is with me in whatever I do. I'm also thankful that I have great friends who encourage me by not comparing themselves to me or anyone else and love me because who I am and what I represent.
I used to watch this show a lot when it was new. It helped me understand some basics of putting outfits together, styling my hair, and doing my makeup. But, as I watched it after a long hiatus, some other things struck me about the actual people who were on the show.
These women have "fashion problems" because of some disillusionment caused by insecurity. They are either desperately clinging to their younger years, have a terrible self-image, or feel some sort of animosity towards fashion because they see it as "the man." It's very interesting to watch these problems surface. Clinton and Stacy behave more than just style consultants; they have to address these insecurities and essentially prove to the women that they are better than their insecurities make them feel.
I understand these insecurities. We all have to face them. Our superficial society tells us so many lies and gives us so many unattainable standards. It's no wonder why women suffer from terrible self-images.
I'm thankful that my parents were always very supportive. I definitely feel down on myself some days, but overall, I'm pretty content. I was never one to feel that I had to conform to a particular way of looking, so I guess I've never been really depressed about my attractiveness. I have a sense of self-worth because God loves me and created me (most importantly!) and I have great people around me.
Maybe this is sad, but I'm still recovering from my adolescent indifference to style. Regardless, I'm happy that I'm not shackled by an obsession to look a certain way. Certainly I want to look like I care about myself and that I'm a professional, but I'm not going to kill myself in a gym or starve myself to get to 100 pounds. Maybe one day I'll find a good style for my frizzy hair. I doubt I'll ever have a perfectly flat stomach, but I never show enough skin for anyone to notice anyway.
Honestly, I know that people judge you based on the way you present yourself. A big part of that is your style. I want to keep myself updated (I swear never to be a frumpy, obese mother who wears sweats to the grocery store). But, overall, I don't get any sense of fulfillment when I start consuming myself with how I look. I feel confident because I know I'm not ugly and because God is with me in whatever I do. I'm also thankful that I have great friends who encourage me by not comparing themselves to me or anyone else and love me because who I am and what I represent.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The electronic age
I'm definitely a part of the generation that does everything electronically. I have an iPod, laptop, and wireless Internet access at home. I check my email up constantly. I keep in touch with friends through Facebook. I text more than I talk on the phone. I do a lot of shopping online.
However, I think I am on the more conservative side of the electronic-savvy generation. The friends I am the closest with I call and physically spend time with. I still send hand-written thank-you notes and letters.
It seems to me that technology has also encouraged laziness in keeping relationships alive. My generation is leaning towards complacency with superficial knowledge of one another. Important relationships are built on experiences with each other and partaking in meaningful conversations about life, love, and all that is in between. Certainly relationships can begin with sharing similar interests in bands and movies. But, deeper relationships must move beyond that.
We all have a need to be wanted and loved. Is this how we fill this need? Fulfillment of our need for relationships comes first from knowing we are worth being loved because the Father loves us, and from investing time, vulnerability, and love in others.
I have been thinking about this after reading criticism of the "25 things" phenomenon on Facebook and discussing the endangered CD in my Music Overview class. Good and bad have come from the explosion of technology into our everyday lives. I can connect with more people and things (so much more that it can be consuming if I don't watch my habits). However, that connection can easily become superficial.
Anyway, I'm going to update about my first Mardi Gras experience soon. I want to post some pictures. Mardi Gras was fantastic.
The quick, efficient streamlining that technology has introduced is something that I value. I like not having a million CD cases everywhere. I like being able to receive information about my friends in one place (like Facebook news feeds and Twitter microblogs).
However, I think I am on the more conservative side of the electronic-savvy generation. The friends I am the closest with I call and physically spend time with. I still send hand-written thank-you notes and letters.
It seems to me that technology has also encouraged laziness in keeping relationships alive. My generation is leaning towards complacency with superficial knowledge of one another. Important relationships are built on experiences with each other and partaking in meaningful conversations about life, love, and all that is in between. Certainly relationships can begin with sharing similar interests in bands and movies. But, deeper relationships must move beyond that.
We all have a need to be wanted and loved. Is this how we fill this need? Fulfillment of our need for relationships comes first from knowing we are worth being loved because the Father loves us, and from investing time, vulnerability, and love in others.
I have been thinking about this after reading criticism of the "25 things" phenomenon on Facebook and discussing the endangered CD in my Music Overview class. Good and bad have come from the explosion of technology into our everyday lives. I can connect with more people and things (so much more that it can be consuming if I don't watch my habits). However, that connection can easily become superficial.
Anyway, I'm going to update about my first Mardi Gras experience soon. I want to post some pictures. Mardi Gras was fantastic.
Monday, February 16, 2009
February
February, as my husband put it, has been one big party. Not only have we celebrated his birthday and Valentine's Day, but this month has been consumed by Mardi Gras fever. Since this is my first carnival season, I have been surprised at how important Mardi Gras is to this town. Heck, my friend Alexis told me that while she had her class of 4 year olds making Valentine's Day boxes, the other classes were making Mardi Gras floats. Wow.
One local man told me that he leaves town every year for Mardi Gras. But, this sentiment seems relatively uncommon. In fact, I am seeing that most locals see the season as something very different from the infamous reputation Mardi Gras has taken up. Mardi Gras, for the people who were born and raised here, is a fun time of hanging out with family and friends as well as celebrating life with the rest of the community. Certainly the meaning of Mardi Gras is to be as debaucherous as you see fit, but you can be like that every day of the year here in New Orleans.
My coworkers, professors, and classmates are always very willing to tell me about their favorite parade, spot to watch the parades, and tradition associated with the season. Everyone has an opinion about the best king cake (we have had king cake every Friday since January 6 at work). Parades started the week of Matt's birthday (Feb. 7). I am very surprised at how many parades can occur in one month in one city.
I used to have strong convictions about participating in Mardi Gras because of what it represents. However, after being in New Orleans, I'm realizing that Mardi Gras is what you make it. Also, if I were to shun the very mention of Mardi Gras, then I would be isolating myself from this community. Mardi Gras is an essential part of this culture. I want to enjoy it and find a deeper understanding and love of the people I live around.
One local man told me that he leaves town every year for Mardi Gras. But, this sentiment seems relatively uncommon. In fact, I am seeing that most locals see the season as something very different from the infamous reputation Mardi Gras has taken up. Mardi Gras, for the people who were born and raised here, is a fun time of hanging out with family and friends as well as celebrating life with the rest of the community. Certainly the meaning of Mardi Gras is to be as debaucherous as you see fit, but you can be like that every day of the year here in New Orleans.
My coworkers, professors, and classmates are always very willing to tell me about their favorite parade, spot to watch the parades, and tradition associated with the season. Everyone has an opinion about the best king cake (we have had king cake every Friday since January 6 at work). Parades started the week of Matt's birthday (Feb. 7). I am very surprised at how many parades can occur in one month in one city.
I used to have strong convictions about participating in Mardi Gras because of what it represents. However, after being in New Orleans, I'm realizing that Mardi Gras is what you make it. Also, if I were to shun the very mention of Mardi Gras, then I would be isolating myself from this community. Mardi Gras is an essential part of this culture. I want to enjoy it and find a deeper understanding and love of the people I live around.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Anxiety
I have been struggling with anxiety for the past couple of weeks. Big decisions, money, and the economy have been weighing on my mind. My mood has seriously suffered.
At work, I would read the news because I get bored. All that the newspaper cares about is the worsening economy and all of the ideas to fix it. I have some serious disagreements about the blame pushed on Bush and the possible solutions to stimulate growth.
Right now, Matt and I are pretty safe from the declining economy. Our jobs are realtively secure, we don't own a house, or have any children. But, I know that I will be forced into finding a real job within the next year and half. Unfortunately, the arts are not doing too well with the decline in available funding. Matt reminds me that I have to have faith.
Fortunately, God seems to be working out my internship issues. There are plenty of organizations in town that want free help and respect our graduate program. I might also be able to have my scholarship pay for it... but, we're still trying to work out the details. I'm really thankful to have God's watchful provision and a program director who really cares about his students.
Well, on another note, it's Carnival season here in New Orleans. I've had at least 2 king cakes a week (and I haven't gotten the baby yet!!). Matt got an extension on his thesis, so he will be able to enjoy the parades with me. Oh my gosh, I'm soo excited about Mardi Gras.
At work, I would read the news because I get bored. All that the newspaper cares about is the worsening economy and all of the ideas to fix it. I have some serious disagreements about the blame pushed on Bush and the possible solutions to stimulate growth.
Right now, Matt and I are pretty safe from the declining economy. Our jobs are realtively secure, we don't own a house, or have any children. But, I know that I will be forced into finding a real job within the next year and half. Unfortunately, the arts are not doing too well with the decline in available funding. Matt reminds me that I have to have faith.
Fortunately, God seems to be working out my internship issues. There are plenty of organizations in town that want free help and respect our graduate program. I might also be able to have my scholarship pay for it... but, we're still trying to work out the details. I'm really thankful to have God's watchful provision and a program director who really cares about his students.
Well, on another note, it's Carnival season here in New Orleans. I've had at least 2 king cakes a week (and I haven't gotten the baby yet!!). Matt got an extension on his thesis, so he will be able to enjoy the parades with me. Oh my gosh, I'm soo excited about Mardi Gras.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Even more king cake!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Is there ever a true medium?
I feel conflicted about change, tradition, or confrontation, avoidance. I see so many things that are slowly rendering the church into an irrelevant institution in the United States. Yet, I also see the threat of getting caught up in an anti-conformity mindset that isolates people and falls apart after a while.
Matt and I often talk about the reason why Protestants avoid artistic design in their churches. Ego infected the purpose of grand architecture and ornate interior decorations hundreds of years ago, and it seems that the potential beauty of a church has been tainted with humanistic pride. We also notice how some churches get wrapped up in their buildings that they forget about the people and their missions. Is there a happy medium? As a person who greatly appreciates aesthetic elements incorporated into buildings, I believe that churches should be more than tin warehouses and musty sanctuaries. I think that just as a person dresses for success to show his or her self-confidence, a church should also display some proactive thought in the way it presents itself in its building.
Also, I read an interesting article in the New York Times about Mark Driscoll's church in Seattle. Interestingly enough, Mark is known for being very confrontational in his preaching. I find this interesting because many mega-church pastors preach more digestable, marketable messages to attract members. People are coming in droves to Mark's church, though. The people of Seattle said that Pastor Mark helped them to see how God fulfills their needs, and that they didn't feel uncomfortable coming to the church.
What does this mean to me? I believe in making church and the message of salvation accessible to the general public. But, I was always concerned about diluting the true meaning and significance of salvation. Pastor Mark could be creating a new model for the church. It's a casual, modern experience. I'm definitely not trying to say that the old hymns are bad and that people who dress up for church are judgmental. But, I believe that music to which people can relate, and creating a casual environment are important in reaching this different society. Pop music is popular because people can understand it. No one dresses up to go to shopping now and dress codes in general are slowly changing, too.
All of this is to say that I believe that a church needs to consider the image it projects. However, the image is truly secondary to bringing the message of salvation to the general public and to building a healthy community. I want to see the church as a shining light of culture, creativity, fellowship, and most importantly, God's saving grace in the community.
Matt and I often talk about the reason why Protestants avoid artistic design in their churches. Ego infected the purpose of grand architecture and ornate interior decorations hundreds of years ago, and it seems that the potential beauty of a church has been tainted with humanistic pride. We also notice how some churches get wrapped up in their buildings that they forget about the people and their missions. Is there a happy medium? As a person who greatly appreciates aesthetic elements incorporated into buildings, I believe that churches should be more than tin warehouses and musty sanctuaries. I think that just as a person dresses for success to show his or her self-confidence, a church should also display some proactive thought in the way it presents itself in its building.
Also, I read an interesting article in the New York Times about Mark Driscoll's church in Seattle. Interestingly enough, Mark is known for being very confrontational in his preaching. I find this interesting because many mega-church pastors preach more digestable, marketable messages to attract members. People are coming in droves to Mark's church, though. The people of Seattle said that Pastor Mark helped them to see how God fulfills their needs, and that they didn't feel uncomfortable coming to the church.
What does this mean to me? I believe in making church and the message of salvation accessible to the general public. But, I was always concerned about diluting the true meaning and significance of salvation. Pastor Mark could be creating a new model for the church. It's a casual, modern experience. I'm definitely not trying to say that the old hymns are bad and that people who dress up for church are judgmental. But, I believe that music to which people can relate, and creating a casual environment are important in reaching this different society. Pop music is popular because people can understand it. No one dresses up to go to shopping now and dress codes in general are slowly changing, too.
All of this is to say that I believe that a church needs to consider the image it projects. However, the image is truly secondary to bringing the message of salvation to the general public and to building a healthy community. I want to see the church as a shining light of culture, creativity, fellowship, and most importantly, God's saving grace in the community.
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