Words of blessing

I went to a women's retreat with my church a couple of weeks ago. I have never experienced anything quite like it... we prayed a scripted prayer to cast out evil spirits that might keep us rooted in sin. The theological issues I had with it aside, it was a good experience overall. I had to look inside myself to see what kind of issues that I really need to resolve.

But, the thing that stuck out to me the most was the "blessing ceremony" we had at the end. We were put with "prayer partners" for the exorcising exercises, so at the end, we prayed blessings over each other. The leaders gave the example of how parents yell curses at their children by telling them they aren't good enough, or they won't amount to anything. Many of the women nodded their heads to show their personal experience with these curses. I couldn't, though.

It made me think about how great my parents are. I could not think of a single time when they ever said anything negative over me. Certainly I messed up and disappointed them, but they always believed that I was capable of doing better. I started thinking about how their encouragement has inspired me to keep pursuing my goals.

The blessing ceremony also made me realize that I don't bless the people around me nearly enough. I always fear that people will think I'm being fake, or that I'm strange. That's not a good excuse, though.


Anyway, Matt's graduation ceremony is this weekend. We're going to have tons of family--I'm really looking forward to it! I'm so thankful we've gotten through this semester. Matt's starting the PhD program in fall, and I'm almost finished with coursework for my program. We've also been married for almost a year! Wow, life sure does go by quickly!!

Wow... we ate a ton of crawfish tonight!

Adolescents

Last night, I was flipping through TV stations and I stopped on Oprah. A counselor was talking an adolescent couple about their decision about whether or not to have sex. This fascinated me. They held hands and talked about how they loved each other. The counselor described the girl's feelings as very strong and how the girl probably thought the two would be in love forever. The counselor talked about the questions the girl would have about the relationship and her body after her first time having sex. Then the counselor then described the boy's feelings of long term being maybe six months to a year. The counselor asked would there be regrets if the relationships didn't last forever like the girl thinks it will? The adolescents were also asked if they knew about safe sex practices like how to use a condom correctly. They unconfidently said they did know how to use a condom. Before the commercial break, the counselor announced that teaching "abstinence only" did not work.

Wow. These poor children have raging hormones and out of control emotions. I felt very sorry for the little girl. She wants to keep her boyfriend because he makes her feel beautiful and important and she feels such a strong feeling of infatuation for him, but I'm sure she is scared of having sex!

I agree that "abstinence only" does not work. It doesn't work if there's no reason to be abstinent other than avoiding STDs and pregnancy. Truly, the only thing that made me very adamant about not having sex was my commitment to God. Furthermore, the two people involved in the relationship both need to be committed to God and abstinence.

Adolescent girls are surrounded by social pressure to have sex. They are deceived by romance movies, TV, magazines, music, and their own peers. I am sad that they are not told about the emotional and spiritual side of sex. The church, especially in my days in the youth group, never talked about the ramifications of sex. I sure didn't want to talk about it with my parents either.

It's interesting to hear people talk about their experience with sex. One of the people I work for said that after she was married, she understood why it would have been better to wait. I also hear Christians talk about how they are absolutely petrified of having sex. What a shame on all sides!

Basically, sex is a wonderful thing. However, it absolutely best enjoyed with someone who has proved his or her love through a life-long commitment. Sex bonds you to your partner in so many ways. It strengthens the commitment and is very satisfying because I have no fear of my partner taking advantage of me.

Matt dropped the sugar container and a whole bag's worth of sugar is all over the floor. Hahaha!

Coffee Warmer

I like my USB coffee warmer. It continues my life-trend of being "almost cool." Or is it just plain nerdy... which is also a life-trend.

Doing my duty... Ha! I said doodie...

Thoughts on the Feminist movement

Now, I really don't want to pretend like I know a lot about feminism. I am, however, a woman who wants to succeed in my professional life and who watches other women who want to succeed in their professional lives as well.

WTUL, the local college radio station I listen to, has recorded speeches every Friday morning from 8 to 8:30. The speakers are usually detailing the unfair world's cruelties towards women or some other minority. The speeches are very interesting, and give me a different perspective on some issues.

Last week's speaker talked about how women in every society in every culture since written history have never had a level playing field with men. She talked about how in modern times, even though we have affirmative action, men are still more likely to rise to the top and choose other men to rise with them.

I recognize there are some double standards when it comes to expectations of women's behavior. Socially, women are looked down upon for being cutthroat or aggressive. Women have a harder time negotiating higher salaries and larger raises.

However, I think it's unfair to ignore the God-given ability, instinct, desire, or whatever of child-birth to women. Unfortunately, women have to take serious time off in order to have children, and in many cases choose to be stay-at-home-moms. Because we bear the responsibility of having children, sometimes our careers lose their importance. It seems that the playing field would be level if men had to face the same choices.

I fall where many women fall: torn between the desire for a successful career and the desire for a great family. At this point in my life, career is more important. I don't want children because I recognize that I will have to cast aside my aspirations for them.

Many women might make the argument that you can pursue your career goals while raising a family, but I don't know if I completely agree. Children seem to thrive on the attention of their parents. I want to be able to give them the proper amount of care and correction because that will be my responsibility as a parent. Looking back, I am so thankful that my mom was around to help me experience different things, help me with my homework, attend my events, and mediate the arguments in my relationships. I want to be a consistent presence in my children's lives. I don't believe there is any shame in wanting to stay home with your children.

I am grateful to the feminist movement because it has created many more opportunities for women. However, the extremists seem to believe that importance of equality transcends the natural desire and consequences that come with child birth.